Discomfort vs. Distress: Finding the Balance Between Self-Reliance and Reaching Out for Help

Discomfort vs. Distress: Finding the Balance Between Self-Reliance and Reaching Out for Help

How often do we push through discomfort, thinking it's normal, only to realize we're heading toward burnout? Let's talk about the crucial difference between discomfort that helps us grow and distress that tells us we need help—because knowing when to push through or when to ask for help can change everything.

“The other night, I listened to my six-month-old baby struggle with nasal congestion. She went from discomfort to distress in a matter of moments. As I waited, I realized: we all experience this shift—whether in motherhood, careers, or personal growth—but do we know when to push through and when to ask for help?”

This realization isn’t just for babies; it’s for all of us, especially when it comes to how to balance self-care with a busy schedule, growth, and personal well-being. It’s crucial to discern when to muster the strength to get through discomfort so that we can grow and elevate to the next level and when to acknowledge that distress is a signal that we need help. I see so many women out here killing it that it is easy to forget that we are still soft and fragile creatures. We all have a point where we can’t do it all on our own, even if the world is used to us making it happen.

Discomfort: The Path to Growth

Discomfort is part of life. Sad but true. While we would all like an easy, comfortable life as much as possible, that discomfort is what pushes us to grow, learn, and expand our boundaries. Whether it's physical, emotional, or mental discomfort, these feelings are often temporary and are usually a signal that we’re about to enter new territory. The tricky part is that discomfort is uncomfortable (by definition!), and we often want to escape from it. Our first instinct is often to look for something or someone to save us, whether it’s by avoiding the issue, looking to blame others for our situation, seeking external validation, or distracting ourselves with other comforts.

Discomfort may manifest as hesitation when making decisions. Maybe it’s the discomfort of taking the first step toward starting a new project or stepping into a room full of strangers. Discomfort is uncomfortable, but it's also where transformation happens. This is the type of discomfort that we can and should push through because, on the other side, lies growth, confidence, and self-discovery. When we resist the urge to escape from these moments, we build resilience and find new strength within ourselves.

If you’re wondering whether you’re avoiding something beneficial for you, try stepping outside of yourself. Ask yourself:

  • What would a personal trainer, therapist, or coach say about this?
  • Would they be concerned about my safety?
  • Would they think I was making decisions that negatively affected myself or those close to me?
  • Would they say my decision wasn’t aligned with my goals?

If the answer to all these questions is “No,” then the discomfort you’re feeling may be your mind and body trying to protect you from being uncomfortable—and growing. By using this kind of mindfulness practice, you can take your emotions out of the equation, see the situation clearly, and make the right decision most of the time.

Distress: Knowing When to Ask for Help

While discomfort can push us toward growth, distress is a signal that things are getting out of hand. Distress is your body, mind, or emotions shouting, “This is too much!” Distress happens when you’ve crossed a threshold, and staying in that state for too long can lead to burnout, anxiety, or worse.

For example, imagine juggling too many responsibilities at work and at home. The stress builds up, and you start to feel overwhelmed. The discomfort has escalated into distress—you are EXHAUSTED, unable to sleep, and unable to focus. You start seeing more and more hair in the drain on wash day, your edges are nowhere to be found, and your skin has lost its glow. You aren’t sure exactly when this started happening, but you have slowly stopped taking care of yourself like you used to.

This is when seeking help is necessary. It might mean asking a colleague for support, reaching out to a friend, or even practicing self-care strategies to prevent emotional distress. Lighting an amazing smelling phthalate-free soy candle at the end of a long day is always a great start, but it is a first step that should be followed by deeper action to protect your well-being.

The Balance: Push Through or Reach Out?

The key is knowing when you’ve crossed into distress.

Here are a few practical tips to help you navigate the balance:

  1. Tune Into Your Body: Your body is often the first to signal whether you’re in discomfort or distress. Tension, sleepless nights, and constant worry can indicate you’re moving toward distress.
  2. Set Boundaries for Discomfort: Discomfort shouldn’t last forever. Set small, achievable goals and celebrate your wins. Whether it’s trying something new or tackling a challenge, it’s okay to ease into discomfort and reward yourself for moving through it.
  3. Create Comforting Rituals: Incorporating how to create a calming nighttime self-care routine into your life can make discomfort easier to handle. For example, lighting a soy candle before bed can signal to your body that it’s time to unwind, making it easier to deal with everyday challenges. A wooden wick candle for creating a peaceful home environment can enhance your space, helping you relax and recharge.
  4. Recognize the Signs of Distress: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, constantly anxious, or physically drained, you may be in distress. This is when it’s important to reach out to friends, family, or professionals. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak; it’s a sign of emotional resilience and strength.

Advocate for Your Own Well-Being

At the end of the day, self-care rituals are about tuning into yourself. Those around you may not always be able to see when you are struggling, because God made you a woman that makes the impossible look easy. You have to speak up and advocate for your own well-being.

Again, if you want to slip into a bubble bath and light a few aromatherapy candles for stress relief, I won’t argue with that…but Girl! Say Something! Talk to somebody. Talk to your friends, your partner, a therapist, hell, a stranger if it makes you feel better. Don’t suffer in silence when there are people here to help you. In a world where it’s easy to get overwhelmed, advocating for your well-being is the most powerful thing you can do.

When I think about my baby girl in her bassinet, pushing through her own little struggles through discomfort followed by giggles, smiles, and maybe a little toot or two, I know that I will teach her to know the difference for herself and to surround herself with the kind of people that can help when it all becomes a little too much. I hope the same for you!


Burning Thoughts

If you are pushing through discomfort, set the tone for your own well-being by exploring our collection of soothing wooden wick candles, designed to bring calm and clarity to your daily routine. Find the strength to push through discomfort, and create the perfect environment to support your personal growth journey.

Leave a comment

This site is protected by hCaptcha and the hCaptcha Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.